The Fastest and Cheapest leadership step you will ever take.

Have you ever had a leader that had a completely different self-image to what others saw? Leaders like this are normally not very effective as they have no idea of the impact they have on others nor do they seek feedback to verify or try to change this impact. 

A key step in your personal leadership development is to get to know yourself - as in truly know yourself. This is not easy as you might not like what you see or not understand the impact you have on other people. This is however and important step and the foundation of personal growth.

“You cannot learn, what you think you know”

The best and simplest action for creating self-awareness is to ask the people you spend time with for feedback. This is also one of the foundations of the Johari Window.

"Simple does not mean easy."

The Johari Window

The two American psychologists, Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham developed a tool to help people create self-awareness. Although developed in the 50’s the Johari window is still a very effective tool for leaders and individuals to create self-awareness.

The top of the Johari window illustrates what is known to others can be divided into two areas: What you also know yourself and what others know you don’t know yourself. If you are willing to explore this area and create a frame of “Giving Feedback” you can gain some extremely valuable insight into how your attitudes, feelings and behaviours impact other people. You can then decide what change you want to make to yourself to create a different impact.

Creating a frame of “Feedback”

Normally we stay away from difficult conversations with people as we are concerned with the way it might create trouble for us later. We co create a conspiracy not to touch certain topics, that might create uncomfortable situation. We “hold the fort” or “we do not rock the boat”. The topics we are not willing to deal with stay in the room as huge elephants we pretend to ignore: We have created group think. 
To be able to benefit from feedback, it is first necessary to create a “Frame of feedback”, an environment where it is ok to speak the truth. Rather than just seek feedback yourself, you should do it as a workgroup or as a peer team, where everybody opens up.

1. Feedback as a concept

The first step is to have a conversation around feedback itself as a concept. The following sentences can help the conversation:
- People have the right intent but create the wrong impact. 
- Giving feedback is aimed at helping not criticising. 
- Robust relationships can handle feedback.
- Don’t make loyalty more important than the truth, then you have created a conspiracy
- If your friendship is not strong enough to handle the truth it is not a real friendship.
- Feedback is not true or false – it is an opinion
- Feedback gives clarity

2. The context and commitments

The second step is to discuss the context, common goal and commitments of the team that will open up for feedback. We live with each other not based on the feedback we give but on the commitments we make. The feedback will be given in support of the common commitment.

3. Rules of engagement

3rd step is to set the rules: What is acceptable, confidentiality, care and commitment. It is important to be deliberate of getting permission from everybody. Don’t create a room of criticism, create a room of support, honesty and camaraderie.

4. Rounds of feedback

4th step is do rounds where each participant receives feedback from colleagues, managers or employees as appropriate. It is important not to defend yourself against feedback – it is not about right or wrong, it is an opinion. We are not judging people; we are helping them understanding their impact

Do not respond to the feedback, just receive it and let it sink in – it could take weeks before you are ready to process it. You should thing of the person that gives feedback as somebody that cares about you enough to tell the truth. You have to be willing to interrogate your impact.

5. Use the feedback

Once you have had time to assimilate the feedback it is time to do the work. It is important to remember that it is not about right or wrong, it is about what impact you have on people. If you receive value from the exercise there are two more elements of the Johari window to go explore.

(This article is based on the wonderful work of Hendre D. Coetzee – may he soon write a book to enlighten us all.)